Meeting her tomorrow

So my father doesn’t like me socialising a lot with my friends. Today I got scolded because I had been going out with my friends quite regularly for a few days and he told me today that I wouldn’t be going out after today as only four days are left before me leaving for college again.

This whole one month holiday I met her only once and she has finally agreed to meet me tomorrow. I am so much excited but I will be needing to make an excuse tomorrow. There are butterflies in my stomach already. I keep planning things for what will I do when I meet her, where will I take her, what will I be talking to her about, will I bore her?

I wonder if she is also excited just like me or is it just very normal meeting. Perhaps it is the latter.

Today I also read a small piece of writing by Saif Madre on scrawled stories saying what is the worst feeling?It was to pretend being a beat friend when you love someone. And I think I related to it on another level.

I’ll update what happens tomorrow. Bye.

My love

There is this girl whom I have been liking since class seven. I could stay with her in school only till the end of class eight. She changed schools and we were cut off for a whole year.

We started talking again in class tenth and got really close. I fell in love with her again. Everything was amazing. We started to date when we were in class eleven. The date was 17th August, 2017. It was like a dream come true.

We broke up on 2nd October. It was her decision. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to force anything on her.

I don’t know of everyone is like this, but I went on a date with her 3 days later and trust me I was more than happy to meet her. I juat couldn’t stop myself from loving her. I just knew it was her whom I wanted to be with.

Same thing happened by the end of class 12th. We dated for about a month again and we broke up. Her decision again. Still couldn’t stop loving her.

We are best friends and we have been through a hell of a roller coaster ride where we were so close and so much apart. But the thing is we never stopped talking to each other. And may be this is what gives me hope till today.

She understands me more than I understand myself. I love her. She doesn’t love me anymore, she said in the first week of college.

I was broken truly. I had been through two breakups with the same person but I knew it would be okay or that I would win her back. This time I felt I was cheated on I don’t know why. This was the first time I couldn’t talk back to her. I lost her. One whole month we didn’t talk. I cried a lot.

I talked to her on the phone one day and then slowly things got better. Everything is okay now. We are still best friends and nothing can part us.

The thing is I still love her the same but she just wants to be friends. A part of me says she loves me but I can’t say for sure. I can only hope. Hope that she comes back onto my life the way I always wanted her to.

This will be my diary

I am engineering student and I have just finished with my first semester.

I live in a hostel so my personal space is not very personal and I wanted my diary to be a secret.

I am not someone who opens up to all. I live with my friends who are with me since i was in class 2 but there is only one whom I can open up to and the irony is that most of the time, it is her who causes me the pain.

I wanted some place where I can express my feelings. This is the place.