I couldn’t meet her when I was at home. I was sad about it and somewhat angry too. I was so excited about it. I remember telling her how badly I wanted to meet her, to sit with her quietly, holding her hand. I had to go on a family trip. We would now meet after 20 days atleast.
We came to college. I am studying Engineering and she is a student of Physiotherapy. We live 70 km apart. I can take a 1.5 hour bus to there on any day. Its not very far but it takes a whole day to meet her so we can meet only when we both are free. We decided to meet on a Sunday. The date was 19th January.
I remember how excited I was all over again. I went to three gift shops and finally took a ring for her. She likes to wear them. I wanted to make the best out of our time on that day. I called my friends and asked about the best plsces to hangout in her city. I made so many plans in my head.
Finally, the day I had to go. I was suppposed to leave at 11 so that I could reach her by 1 oclock. I was so excited that I woke up 8 am and just couldn’t wait. I remeber I left early and my friend saw me. He told me I would never get up on time for going to classes and today I was leaving early. How couldn’t I? I was waiting to meet her for more than a month now. I walked down to the bus to her city happily.
I reached there I walked down to her hostel. I was so so so much excited I couldn’t beat it. She came down and I hugged her tight. I didn’t want to leave her. She always tells me I don’t know how to hug properly. I was overfilled with joy. We went to have lunch to a fancy cafe. We had a good time there. We talked, laughed, took photos of us and ate ofcourse.
After we left that place I insisted on going to the beach but she didn’t want to go there because she had gone there a week ago. There was nothing else to do apart from going to malls where we would only roam about here and there and then we would go back. I didnt want it to be that boring so we went to the beach beacause I wanted to.
We took a ferry ride to the beach. I was so excited and she watched me behave like a child. We went to the beach and it was beautiful. We walked along the shore with the waves touching our feet and with her hand in mine. It felt so nice and pure. I couldn’t be happier. We then sat down by the beach and talked. We got wet in the water and had a great time. She remember that I wanted to sit with her in a quiet place and talk to her. This made me happy, I don’t know why, maybe because she remebered such a small thing like that and it made me feel important.
I had brought some biscuits with me for her, and some homemade food for her. I also gave her the ring I brought for her. I don’t know whether she liked it or not and whether she’ll wear it or not, but she wore it happily at the time.
We left from there, we went to have somehting to drink and then we walked along the road near her college talking about random things. I just enjoy her company, even if we would just sit down somewhere, I would never get bored of her. On the other hand I tried my best not to bore her. We went to her campus and she showed me around. We sat for some time. Now it was time to leave . It was about 6:30 pm and the last bus left at 7. I hugged her again once before leaving. I didn’t want to go but there was nothing I could do.
I love her so much, she knows that too but I just cant talk to her about it anymore. I fear losing her. I fear I will ruin whatever I have now.
It breaks my heart but I have to understand that it won’t become like before anytime soon. But I can’t stop myself from loving her.
Maybe keeping expectations is what hurts me most.